College Diary: Making Friends and Adjusting To A New Life
If you are not a fan of journal-esque rants then, click away now. If you're semi-interested in my rambling, feel free to keep reading.
It has been just about a month since I've arrived at school and to be completely honest, it has been the most confusing month of my life. People always say it is a huge adjustment. but it is hard to believe until you go through it. The minute I start to love it here, something happens and I am ready to book a one way ticket home. As I'm about to get the heck out of here, something extremely exciting happens and I start to think that I could stay here. To say it has been a roller coaster ride would be an understatement.
I am a firm believer that if you continue to follow what fits for you, you will find your happiness and success. As much as is sucks being alone, I have to believe that it is the path that will lead me to where I am supposed to be. I will say, since I have been pursuing my passions here, I have started to find those like-minded souls. As more good people move into my life, it becomes easier to weed out those that I would rather not be around. I believe in positivity and I choose to be around positive people. There are so many more important things in life than drama and playing "middle school" mean girl games.
I have often offered the advice that it is difficult, but it is better to be alone than with people that make you feel shitty. Wow is that actually hard advice to follow. I am pretty good at making friends in the sense that I am good at mirroring personalities and creating superficial bonds. Initially, this is very helpful because it helps you avoid sitting alone at lunch the first day. Downside, you get roped in with people you have no business being around. When I am around people that I shouldn't be, I get a gut feeling that sends off signals that something is very wrong. Lucky for me I easily identify this. Unlucky for me distancing myself from these people means less friends in an already small group.
I have never really had to make a whole new group of friends with complete strangers. The last time I was thrown into a situation even remotely similar to now was in second grade (even back then I had a welcome buddy & my class size was about 15). Now, I am a new spring student with only about 15 other new freshmen in a sea of 6,000 people. Scary ration? Hell yes. This is the first time in my entire life that I've been without "my people". I was blessed with a great and completely supportive friend group that knew everything about each other. Now it is quite literally all strangers.
I'm not sure if it's my hopeless romantic nature or if I'm just naive, but I truly believe that if I stay true to myself, that I will find my people here. I think everyone, even the negative ones, are just looking for their place in life. It's just one of those situation where I need to keep on going & stay focused on me and my intentions.