Owning Your Own Life
The last few months have been nothing short of a whirlwind experience. I spent the summer living in Los Angeles where I was working and doing school. Before I knew it I was back on campus only to find out that my apartment - which I love so dearly - had become mold infested leaving all of our belongings covered in a layer of green growth. Then, silly me thought what better time than in school as a full time student to launch a full blown company. Time management and the ability to pivot are still qualities that I am trying desperately to manage.
When I began to feel off I noticed I was drinking far more than I ever should have and going out all the time. I wasn't prioritizing my health which meant I was literally sick 24/7 and wasn't working out. I stopped thinking about and working towards my goals. The funniest part was that I truly thought "I'm just living life". While yes, I had fun and some of the craziest memories, I found myself waking up everyday more anxious than ever before and with a huge void in my soul. I was completely spiritually and emotionally bankrupt.
I have done a lot of soul searching and cleansing to get myself back on track from what felt like a black pit I had fallen into. I finally feel so secure on my path and creating and TRULY living for myself.
Here are some of ways I knew my life was off and the tricks I have learned to help me get back to myself.
HOW TO KNOW SOMETHING IS OFF.
1. You already know it is. Your gut is your best indicator as to how you are doing so, listen. If you feel like something is missing or that you just aren't happy - it might be your first sign that you need to make a change.
2. You are sick all the time. While there are many other causes for illness but not taking care of yourself will pretty much ensure you remain sick all the time. Like I said, I was constantly getting sick and never recovering. Even when I felt better, I never truly felt back up to normal baseline of health. Alcohol, lack of sleep and honestly overall dissatisfaction - plays into some of the reasons you aren't feeling better.
3. You feel stuck. The need for progression and movement is so normal for humans. Feeling stuck isn't always a bad things because it means you are ready to evolve. If you just have that itch that is burning and crawling inside of you probably means you need to get out and move on - listen to it.
HOW TO START LIVING FOR YOU.
1. Detox. Whether it be alcohol, junk food, sugar or maybe even toxic people, just take a break. Walk away from it all for a week. You probably will feel like you're losing your mind but that goes to show how much you are giving away your power to these other things that they had this much of a hold over you.
2. Spend a lot of time alone. Yes you will probably be lonely but that means that you lost the distractions you were using to try and fill that void. The only way to fully heal and feel complete is by coming face to face with your fears and befriending them. When you can be by yourself and feel okay is when you truly start living for you.
3. Make decisions because YOU want to. I'm not here to say drinking is bad (I love it) but make sure when you go for that glass of wine or to throw a shot back with friends, it is because you actually want to be in the moment doing it. It makes me cringe seeing so many of my friends that force themselves to chug nasty drinks just to catch up or get drunk. Go out and be social but because you WANT to, not just because of FOMO if you don't. Do things alone if you don't have a crew to join. Every time you have other people or motivation pushing you to do things is a time when you are handing your power away. Start taking that power back! It is yours and it has always been ONLY yours. Honestly my happiest moments have been the times I've had fun being sober in a time I would have normally been hammered. It is SO much fun to connect and feel like a child again when we didn't need alcohol to be silly.
4. Align mind, body and soul. For me this was yoga and meditation. I started to prioritize each element within myself. To start this was a very drastic change now it has all become balanced. I still don't eat any junk food - besides a once a week cheat when I feel I want it. I practice yoga at least 5 times a week. I try not to drink anymore and if I do it is limited and only about once a week. I spend a lot more time alone but it is to recharge and keep me in line.
Flipping your life and taking back your power can be a very difficult challenge. The biggest thing that I have come to realize from all of this is to go easy on yourself. If you slip up and fall back into old patterns, don't let it ruin you and deter you from your path. Accept it and love it. Jump right back into taking care of yourself. This challenge is filled with learning moments that can teach us more about ourselves and how to connect with others. Listen to it and keep on loving yourself.