You Are Not In Middle School Anymore.
I have been exceptionally frustrated lately. Overall I am really happy, but I feel stuck in my life and at my school and in social situations. I am frustrated with the fact I am uninspired and not creative lately. Most of all I am frustrated with the fact that I am frustrated and letting myself be a cry baby.
From the time I was born I have always been the star child. I put on one woman shows as a 3 year old, I was a mean girl in middle school and was constantly getting in trouble. Anything that put me as #1 or at the center of attention was something that I not only pursued but conquered. I had to be the best at anything I touched. The louder noise I made, the more people noticed and the more attention I received. Quickly my belief system was created - attention and success = love.
Sitting here in the midst of adulthood, I realize that the cycle of shitty beliefs I created as a kid still steps in and controls my life from time to time. I still attribute much of my discontent to the fact so much of my internal validation can be controled by external sources. This only happens when I am in situations similar to when “attention and success = love” was born. I feel stuck at school, much like I did in middle school. I feel lonely, misunderstood and under appreciated, much like I did in middle school. **cue self detrimental beliefs**
So how do we release these beliefs?
1. Discover what your cycle of belief is. What are the not so good things you say to yourself? When do you first remember thinking this? When were times that this belief was validated?
2. Switch it. Notice it. Notice when you start to go to the bad place in your mind. BE aware of what triggers these thoughts and feelings and take control of the situation. When a negative belief begins to creep in, acknowledge it then, release and replace with something positive.
3. Grow up. It is time that you let go of all of these tendencies that are keeping you from living to your full potential. Your middle school self would be pissed that you are still being controlled by the same internal struggles you had years ago. Grow some tits (sorry mom) and take control of your own life and write your next chapter. You and only you have the ability to make the switch in your mind so what are you going to do? Continue living as that insecure, pissed, sad little middle school girl or are you ready to grow up and stand in the light?
We all have some story that follows us around and stands as a road block to our ability to live the happiest life imaginable. The point is though, it is just a road block. Once notices, can be easily removed.